Funny definitions – the real meanings of words

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Agitator
Enraged tuber

Agoraphobic:
Morbid fear of bullfights. – Joseph Leff

Ahem!:
The bottom of a very short skirt. – Joseph Leff

Ain’t Right:
Isn’t. – Joseph Leff

Air Flow
Ventilation of a car created by putting the wife in the back seat

Air Pollution:
Mist demeanour. – Joseph Leff

Airless:
(1) Without children.
(2) Bald. – Joseph Leff

Airplane:
(1) The world’s largest cause of white knuckles
(2) A steppe-child. – Joseph Leff

Aisle:
(1) A bridal path.
(2) Abbrev. for Illinois.
(3) Will you? – Joseph Leff

Alabama Elephants
Elephants whose Tuscaloosa.

Alarm Clock
(1) Something to scare the living daylight into you
(2) A convenient invention if you like that sort of ting.
(3) Eye opener.
(4) A frightened timepiece
(5) Device to wake up people who don’t have young children

Alarms
No legs

Alas:
A Scottish girl. – Joseph Leff

Albert:
Introducing Alan to Bertram. – Joseph Leff

Alcoholic Serf:
A drinking vassal. – Joseph Leff

Alehouse
A hospital. – Joseph Leff

Algiers:
Totally taunting remarks. – Joseph Leff

Alimony
(1) Taxation without representation
(2) The marital version of “Fly now Pay Later”
(3) Bounty from the mutiny
(4) The high cost of leaving

All Aboard:
Everybody is hated. – Joseph Leff

All But One in a Thousand:
Zeroes. – Joseph Leff

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