Funny definitions – the real meanings of words

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Captain Kidd:
(1) A young officer.  
(2) A small goat officer. – Joseph Leff

Captivate:
A prisoner ingested. – Joseph Leff

Capture a Fleeing Slave:
Net the serf. – Joseph Leff

Caramel
A motorised camel

Carat:
Automobile’s location. – Joseph Leff

Carbon:
French for fine auto. – Joseph Leff

Carbuncle
An automobile with a dent in it

Cardboard Belt:
A waist of paper. – Joseph Leff

Cardiac:
A believer in gin rummy. – Joseph Leff

Cardinal Number:
Census of senior Church officials. – Joseph Leff

Cardiology:
Study of poker and Black Jack. – Joseph Leff

Carmen:
Chauffeurs. – Joseph Leff

Carmine:
The auto belongs to me. – Joseph Leff

Carnation
A country where everyone owns a car

Carnivore
Animal that goes round in circles

Caroline:
A queue awaiting Christmas music. – Joseph Leff

Carousel
Car that goes round in circles

Carpenter Aunt:
Da’s sister who makes wooden objects. – Joseph Leff

Carpenter:
How fish come in. – Joseph Leff

Carpet
Material bought by the yard and worn out by the foot

Carried by Musicians:
A tune. – Joseph Leff

Carrion:
(1) Act hysterically and childishly.  
(2) A vulture’s unchecked luggage. – Joseph Leff

Carton:
The small wagon is aboard. – Joseph Leff

Cartoon
A song you sing in the car

Cartoonist:
An auto mechanic. – Joseph Leff

Casey:
Abbrev. for Kansas City. – Joseph Leff

Cash on Hand:
(1) The ante.  
(2) Announcing the arrival of Johnny for the show. – Joseph Leff

Cashier:
More like currency. – Joseph Leff

Cast Iron:
(1) Toss a golf club.  
(2) Golf club used by actors. – Joseph Leff

Cast Off:
Why the show isn’t playing. – Joseph Leff

Castanet:
(1) What they did to fill the role of Frankie Avalon’s girlfriend. 
(2) What Italian fishermen do. – Joseph Leff

Castro:
The actors use oars. – Joseph Leff

Casualty:
For an informal golfer. – Joseph Leff

Cat Burglar
Burglar who steals cats

Catacomb
What goes with the cat’s brush

Cataract:
An expensive American car in Tokyo. – Joseph Leff

Catastrophe
The prize awarded to the top pussy at the cat show

Catching:
The sound of a cash register. – Joseph Leff

Cat’s Eyes:
Feline dimensions. – Joseph Leff

Cattle Brands in South America:
Gaucho marks. – Joseph Leff

Cattle in a Space Shuttle:
A herd shot ’round the world. – Joseph Leff

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C – Pages 1234567 891011