Funny definitions – the real meanings of words

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R
S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

E – Pages 12345

Ether:
One or the other. – Joseph Leff

Eulogy
(1) Study of the 25th letter.
(2) Study of thou.
(3) Study of a female lamb. – Joseph Leff

Euro:
(1) 21st tier of seats.  
(2) Your turn at the oars. – Joseph Leff

Eurythmics:
Music that belongs to you. – Joseph Leff

Evade:
Assist Adam’s wife. – Joseph Leff

Evaluate:
Wow, Valerie, you’ve eaten. – Joseph Leff

Evaporated milk
The kind of milk preferred by the invisible man.

Evaporated
Dried water – just add liquid

Eve
What you shout at the start of a tug-o-war

Ewe:
A wife-bleater. – Joseph Leff

Exact
What eggs do on stage

Exact:
A retired thespian. – Joseph Leff

Exalted:
Removed all sodium chloride. – Joseph Leff

Exam Subjects at a School of Optometry:
Pupils. – Joseph Leff

Excel:
(1) Abbrev. for Extra Large.  
(2) Roman number 40.  
(3) A freed prisoner. – Joseph Leff

Excess fat
Not the result of the minutes you put in at the dinner table, but the seconds.

Excite:
Blind. – Joseph Leff

Exclamation of Delight for Hawaiian Food:
Oh, poi! – Joseph Leff

Excuse:
(1) An out-of-work stage director.  
(2) A retired snooker player.  
(3) No more waiting lines. – Joseph Leff

Exercise
The only exercise some people get is to:
(1) run up bills;
(2) wrestle with their conscience;
(3) jump to conclusions;
(4) stretch the truth;
(5) run out of excuses.

Exit:
Cross it out. – Joseph Leff

Expelled:
A retired witch. – Joseph Leff

Expending:
Someone who is now saving. – Joseph Leff

Experience
(1) What you have left after you have lost everything else.
(2) The wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake after you have made it.
(3) What people call their mistakes

Experiment
What scientists did 100 years ago and you are still doing in school

Expert at Forging:
A smith. – Joseph Leff

Expert
(1) Someone who used to be a Pert
(2) An expert is a person who skillfully avoids the small errors only to sweep on to the really big ones.

Explosion
Result of experiment

Explosive Letters:
TNT. – Joseph Leff

Explosive-Sniffing Dog:
The scenter of attention. – Joseph Leff

 

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R
S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

E – Pages 12345