Mia Farrow:
My Egyptian ruler. – Joseph Leff

Mick Jagger Stays Single:
A Rolling Stone gathers no boss. – Joseph Leff

Micro:
Not your blackbird. – Joseph Leff

Micron:
Introducing Michael to Ronald. – Joseph Leff

Microwave
Very small cooker

Midas:
On a gilt trip. – Joseph Leff

Military Dog
A West Pointer.

Military Intelligence:
Yeah, right. – Joseph Leff

Milk Chocolate
Something that no-one can do

Milk Shake
What you get from nervous cows

Milky Way:
The road to a dairy farm. – Joseph Leff

Millionaires:
A lot of inheritors. – Joseph Leff

Mime:
To whom a picture is worth a thousand words. – Joseph Leff

Mimi:
An egotistical woman. – Joseph Leff

Mince
White sweets with holes in the middle and a peppermint flavour

Mind Game:
Excavated animals for food. – Joseph Leff

Mind One’s Business
There are two reasons why some people don’t mind their own business:
(1) no mind;
(2) no business.

Mind Reading
An easy thing to except where the print is too small.

Mineral:
Allen, the quarry worker. – Joseph Leff

Minimum
(1) Minidad’s wife
(2) A tiny English mother.

Miniskirt:
Describes mickey’s girlfriend as both gruff and concise. – Joseph Leff

Minnehaha
Small laugh

Minnie Driver:
(1) A tiny golf club.  
(2) Midget chauffeur. – Joseph Leff

Minor Scale:
(1) Used by a pediatrician to weigh children.  
(2) Used to wiegh coal. – Joseph Leff

Minute Waltz
Music played by a watch band.