Funny definitions – the real meanings of words

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O – Pages 1234

Oliver Twist:
Hey, Ollie, turn it to open. – Joseph Leff

Omelette
Prince of Denmark, a play by William Shakespeare rich in fowl play and eggsitement

Omen:
A woman’s exclamation of annoyance. – Joseph Leff

Once Around:
A year. – Joseph Leff

Oncological Specialty:
The Topic of Cancer. – Joseph Leff

One For Juan:
Uno. – Joseph Leff

One Skunk Per Ten Square Miles:
Phew and far between. – Joseph Leff

Ones in Suits:
Aces. – Joseph Leff

Online:
Where the clothing is left to dry. – Joseph Leff

Onshore: Definitely powered up. – Joseph Leff

Opal:
To be in debt to a friend. – Joseph Leff

Open House
Home without a roof.

Open Mind
Some people think they have an open mind when it is merely vacant.

Open-Minded:
Has holes in the head. – Joseph Leff

Opera
A musical performance in which people sing before they die.

Operatic:
An insect that sings arias. – Joseph Leff

Operator
(1) Someone who hates operas
(2) A surgeon.

Operetta
The person who answers when you dial 100 on the telephone

Opinion
Something you have on your mind and want to get off your chest.

Opportune
Music played on a pogo stick

Opportunist
Someone who meets a wolf at the door and the next day appears wearing a fur coat

Opportunity
It is supposed to knock, but it has never been known to turn the knob and walk in.

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O – Pages 1234