Petal:
How to calm Albert. – Joseph Leff

Pets Are in Charge:
Reigning cats and dogs. – Joseph Leff

Petty officer
A naval officer in charge of unimportant matters.

Phantom of the Opera:
Sports devotee Thomas also likes dramas set to music. – Joseph Leff

Pharmaceuticals:
Horticulturist Susan does kitchy-koo. – Joseph Leff

Pharmacy Profits:
Pill-gotten gains. – Joseph Leff

Pharmacy
The science of agriculture

Phase Out:
Fay’s not in. – Joseph Leff

Phew:
Not many. – Joseph Leff

Phoebe:
A flying insect on retainer. – Joseph Leff

Phonation:
Enemy country. – Joseph Leff

Phoney
Fake mobile phone

Phonics:
Fake cuts. – Joseph Leff

Phonograph
A chart used by the Post Office to record telephone sales

Photo finish
(1) Graduation picture.
(2) Matte’.
(3) Nail polish on a fake foot digit. – Joseph Leff

Photo:
A fake foot digit. – Joseph Leff

Photographer
A confused person. First he asks you to smile, and then he snaps at you. The worst kind acts friendly enough, but then blows you up.

Photographic Prints:
A photogenic member of the royal family. – Joseph Leff

Phrase:
A rope that unravels. – Joseph Leff

Physician
Someone who loses patients if he loses patience.

Physicist
A man who make ginger beer

Physiotherapy
Medicine mixed with lemonade

Piano Chord
What you tie a piano up with.