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TEACHER: Spell "weather."
PUPIL: Weather. W A E F H A R. Weather.
TEACHER: That's the worst spell of weather we've had in a long time.
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TEACHER: For your homework, I asked you to spell "tomorrow" and
you spelled "today. "
PUPIL: That's because I did my homework yesterday.
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TEACHER: Can you spell "banana"?
PUPIL: Banana. B A N A N A N A N . . . . I can spell it, all right I just don't
know
where to stop.
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TEACHER: Spell "Javelin."
PUPIL: That's too hard and long for me.
TEACHER: And I guess you're not that sharp, either.
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TEACHER: Can you spell "caterpillar?"
PUPIL: How long do I have?
TEACHER: Why?
PUPIL: I want to wait until he changes into a butterfly. I can spell that.
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TEACHER: Why should we never use the word "ain't?"
PUPIL: Because it ain't correct.
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FRED: I know English good.
HARRY: I know English well.
FRED: Good, then both of us ain't gonna flunk the exam.
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TEACHER: Use the word "hyphenated" in a sentence.
PUPIL: There used to be just a space between these two words but there ain't no
more because the hyphen ate it.
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TEACHER: Mark, please stand and use the word "deceit" in a sentence.
PUPIL: I would rather sit down because "deceit" of my pants has a hole
in it.
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TEACHER: What do two negatives make?
PUPIL: A double exposure.
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