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FATHER: How did your exams go?
SON: Great, Dad. I nearly got ten in every subject.
FATHER: What do you mean nearly ten?
SON: Well, I got the nought.

Fred was saying his prayers. God bless my mum and dad and please make Montreal the capital of Canada.
Why did you say that, Fred? asked his mother.
Because that’s what I wrote in my exam, explained Fred.

DAD: Well, Son, did you pass your exams?
SON: No, Dad, but I did come top of those that failed.

EXAM QUESTION: Why was the period between 500 AD and 900 AD known as the Dark Ages?
PUPIL’S ANSWER: Because those were the days of the knights.

After an exam the teacher said to a boy, Why have you written by some of your questions, “See Simon Taylor’s paper?“
The boy replied, Well, sir, you said we weren’t to copy each other’s work.

EXAM QUESTION: What was the Romans’ greatest feat?
PUPIL’S ANSWER: Learning Latin.

EXAMINER: You will be allowed half an hour for each question.
PUPIL: How long can we have for the answer, sir?

MOTHER: Your history exam marks aren’t very good.
SON: It isn’t my fault. My teacher keeps asking me questions about things that happened before I was born.

FATHER: Well, Son, did you get a good place in the exams?
SON: Yes, Dad, right by the radiator!

FATHER: Why are your exam marks so low?
SON: Because I sit at the desk at the back, Dad.
FATHER: What difference does that make?
SON: Well, there are so many of us in the class that when it’s my turn for marks there aren’t any left.