Page 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9

MOTHER: Why are your exam marks so poor this term?
PUPIL: It’s the teacher’s fault, Mum.
MOTHER: But you had the same teacher last term and you did well in your exams then.
PUPIL: Yes, but I’m not sitting by the brainiest girl in the class now. The teacher’s moved her.

What’s your Fred going to be when he’s passed his exams?
The way he’s going, a pensioner, I should think!

What exams do farmers take?
Hay levels.

Who got the best marks in the animal exam?
The cheetah.

EXAM QUESTION: Write, as precisely as possible, all you know about the great English watercolour painters of the eighteenth century.
PUPIL’S ANSWER: They’re all dead.

EXAM QUESTION: When was Napoleon born?
PUPIL’S ANSWER: On his birthday.

EXAM QUESTION: What’s the difference between unlawful and illegal?
PUPIL’S ANSWER: Unlawful is against the law, and illegal is a sick bird.

MUM: How did your music exam go?
SON: The music teacher said my playing was out of this world.
MUM: Really?
SON: Well she said it was unearthly.

EXAMINER: Did you make up this poem yourself?
PUPIL: Yes, sir, every word.
EXAMINER:Well, pleased to meet you, William Shakespeare!

EXAM QUESTION: What happens to gold when it is exposed to air? PUPIL’S ANSWER: It’s stolen.