School poems, poetry and limericks

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Our school is a good school,
It’s made of bricks and plaster,
The only thing that’s wrong with it,
Is the bald headmaster.

He laughed when they said it couldn’t be done,
He smiled and said he knew it,
But he tried the thing that couldn’t be done,
And found he couldn’t do it.

Poor old teacher, we missed you so,
When in hospital you had to go.
For you to remain there is a sin,
We’re sorry about the banana skin.

There was a young caretaker named Frank,
Who kept all his beer in the school tank.
One day it was locked,
And he was so shocked,
Because without his pint he’d go blank.

When things get twisted and out of joint,
Don’t get discouraged and quit the game,
Remember a corkscrew never goes straight to the point,
But it gets there just the same.

The joke you just told isn’t funny one bit,
It’s pointless and dull, wholly lacking in wit.
It’s so old and so stale it’s beginning to smell
And besides, it’s the one I was going to tell.

Mary had a little bear,
To which she was so kind,
And everywhere that Mary went,
She had a bear behind.

Don’t worry if your job is small,
And your rewards are few.
Remember that the mighty oak,
Was once a nut like you.

There was a young teacher of Rheims,
Who had the most frightening dreams.
She would wake in the night,
In a terrible fright,
Shaking the house with her screams.

I wish I was a little grub,
With whiskers round my tummy.
I’d climb into a honey pot
And make my tummy gummy.

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill said; `You twit! Now I’ll have to fill the bucket up again!’