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JANE: Mum, I've been banned from cookery lessons because I burnt something.
MOTHER: Well that doesn't sound too terrible. What did you burn?
JANE: The school kitchen.
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What happened when Moses had a headache?
God gave him some tablets.
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What's the formula for water?
H I J K L M N O.
What?
Teacher said it was H to O.
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Which word of five letters has six left when you take two away?
I don't know.
Sixty.
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Why is a banana skin on a pavement like music?
I don't know.
Because if you don't C sharp you'll B flat.
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Did you hear about the scientist who crossed a parrot with an alligator?
No, what happened?
It bit his leg off and said, `Who's a pretty boy, then?'
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Did you hear about the bowl of daffodils in the maths classroom?
No, what happened?
They grew square roots.
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What do you call a jacket that's on fire?
A blazer!
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Why don't elephants ride bicycles?
They haven't got thumbs to ring the bell with.
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Why did the schoolboy take a ladder to school?
It was high school.
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