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Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they’d look pretty stupid with suitcases.

Did you hear about the schoolboy who put on a clean pair of socks every day?
By the end of the week he couldn’t get his shoes on.

What makes an octopus a good fighter?
He’s very well armed.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
For fowl purposes.

Why did the pretty schoolteacher marry the caretaker?
He swept her off her feet.

What’s wrapped in Clingfilm and lives in bell towers?
The Lunchpack of Notre Dame.

What’s bright blue and weighs four tonnes? An elephant holding its breath.

What do you get if you cross a vicar with your school uniform?
Holy clothes.

What did the school tie say to the beret? You go on a head while I hang around.

Why did the caretaker give up his job?
Because he found that grime doesn’t pay.