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Where is the best place to have the sickroom at school ?
Next to the canteen !

What do French pupils say after finishing their school dinners ?
Mercy !

Pupil: There are feathers in my custard.
Cook: I know, it’s Birds Custard !

Why was school soup rich ?
Because it had 24 carrots in it !

How many bones have you got in your body ?
Two thousand. I had fish for dinner at school !

Why does the school cook dip the sponge fingers in paraffin ?
In an attempt to make them light !

Pupil: This chicken has spots in it.
Cook: That’s OK it’s only chickenpox !

What’s yellow, thick and often found on school boys ties ?
School custard !

Did you hear about the cruel school cook ?
She beats the eggs and whips the cream !

What’s the differnece between school tapioca and frogspawn?
Not a lot!