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PUPIL: Sir, are caterpillars good to eat?
TEACHER: Of course not. Why do you ask?
PUPIL: ‘Cos you’ve just eaten one on your lettuce.

When are school dinners noisy?
When they are bangers and mash.

How do you start a pudding race?
Sa go.

NICK: Cook, I can’t eat this!
COOK: Why not?
NICK: I haven’t got a knife and fork.

TOM: Cook, there’s a worm on my plate!
COOK: That isn’t a worm, it’s your sausage.

NEW TEACHER: Ugh! This coffee tastes like soap.
DINNER LADY: That must be tea the coffee tastes like glue.

PUPIL: There’s a button in my soup.
DINNER LADY: It must have fallen off when the salad was dressing.

What’s green and goes boing boing boing?
A spring cabbage!

Why did the schoolboy a keep a mince pie in his comic? He liked crummy jokes.

TEACHER: What do you suggest for a quick snack?
DINNER LADY: Runner beans.