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PE TEACHER: Why didn’t you stop that ball?
GOALIE: That’s what the net’s for, isn’t it?

Two boys were playing football. One boy tried a shot at goal, missed and said, `I could kick myself.’
`Don’t bother,’ said his friend. `You’ll probably miss.’

Why did the games master put sawdust on the football pitch?
To stop the school team from slipping out of the league.

What ring is square?
A boxing ring

FATHER: What position are you in the school football team, son?
SON: The games master says I’m the main drawback.

TEACHER: Has anyone seen my glasses?
PUPIL: Yes, sir, you left them on the pitch.
TEACHER: Well, why didn’t you give them to me?
PUPIL: I didn’t think you’d want them after I stepped on them.

Why are tennis balls round?
Because if they were square, they wouldn’t roll.

When is cricket a crime?
When there’s a hit and run.

Why did the liquorice go in to the Decathalon?
Because it was a liquorice all sport.

What’s a Chinese golf teacher called?
Ho Lin Wun.