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TEACHER: I want you to report to the Principal’s office. PUPIL: But I didn’t do anything.
TEACHER: I know, but this will save you a trip when you do.

TEACHER: I want you to bring your parents to school tomorrow. PUPIL: I don’t think they can make it. Would my parole officer do?

TEACHER: You were told to bring your parents to school today. Where are they? PUPIL: They wouldn’t come. They don’t like school any more than I do.

TEACHER: Every time I turn around I catch you doing something you’re not supposed to be doing. What can we do about that?
PUPIL: Tell me when you’re going to turn around.

TEACHER: You’re the number one trouble maker in this class.
PUPIL: See? And my parents said I’d never amount to anything.

TEACHER: Young man, I’m going to give you a punishment you won’t soon forget.
PUPIL: Good, because I sure can’t remember anything you teach us.