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Teacher: What’s you name ?
Pupil: Fred
Teacher: You should say “Sir”
Pupil: OK, Sir Fred !

Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil: Life imprisonment !

Teacher: Name four members of the cat family
Pupil: Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !

Teacher: What is further away, Australia or the Moon ?
Pupil: Australia, you can see the Moon at night !

Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ?
Pupil: There it is
Teacher: Now, Louise, who discovered Australia ?
Pupil: Fred did !

Pupil: I wished we lived in the olden days
Teacher: Why is that ?
Pupil: We wouldn’t have so much history to learn !

Teacher: What kind of birds do you find in captivity?
Pupil: Jailbirds !

Teacher: What is the plural of mouse ?
Pupil: Mice
Teacher: Good, now what’s the plural of baby ?
Pupil: Twins !

Teacher: What’s the longest word in the English language ?
Pupil: Smiles – because there is a mile between the first and last letters !

Teacher: I despair, Fred, how do you manage to get so many things wrong in a day ?
Pupil: Because I always get here early sir !