TEACHER: why are you late for school again?
PUPIL: I stopped two boys fighting, sir. TEACHER: Well done. How did you manage that?
PUPIL: I kicked both of them, sir.
TEACHER: Sadie, why are you crawling into school ten minutes late?
PUPIL: Because you told me never to walk into school late again.
You missed school yesterday, didn't you?
No, sir, not a bit.
When the teacher entered the classroom, he noticed a little pool of water near
`Who is responsible for this?' he asked. No one replied.
`I want the person who did this to own up,' said the teacher. `Everyone close
your eyes, then the guilty person must come forward and write their name on the
blackboard. No one must open their eyes until I say so.'
So everyone closed their eyes. Soon there were quiet footsteps over to the blackboard,
a pause and then the sound of someone writing on it with chalk, followed by more
When the teacher told everyone to open their eyes there was a loud gasp. Another
little puddle of water had appeared next to the first, and on the blackboard was
written, `The Phantom Piddler Strikes Again!'
TEACHER: Now, children, this afternoon I'm going to tell you all about a gorilla.
So pay attention, all of you: If, you don't look at me you'll never know what
a gorilla is.