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Teacher: When you yawn, you're supposed to put your hand to your mouth!
Pupil: What, and get bitten?
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Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No teacher, I'm having trouble listening!
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Teacher: Why were you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too?!
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Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
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Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there; what are you taking for it?
Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?
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Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well
Father: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school !
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Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn't you?
Pupil: Not very much !
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Father: I hear you skipped school to play football.
Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!
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Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school
today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!
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Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen
on the time in-between!
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