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TEACHER: Young woman, do you know what time we start school here in the
morning?
PUPIL: No, teacher, I don't. I've never been here for that.
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TEACHER: Young man, you've been late for school every day this week.
PUPIL: No, teacher, I was only late for school four days this week. The other
day I
was absent.
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TEACHER: Do you have any idea how many times you've been late for school
this year?
PUPIL: Well, teacher, I don't think it's been more than once a day.
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TEACHER: Young man, you've been late for school five days this week. Does
that make you happy?
PUPIL: Sure does. That means it's Friday.
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TEACHER: Young lady, do you know what the word "tardy" means?
PUPIL: No, teacher, I don't. You must have covered that before I got here.
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TEACHER: Young man, how would you like it if I were ten minutes late for
school every morning like you are?
PUPIL: It would be great. We could ride to school together.
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TEACHER: You've been ten minutes late for school every day this year and
all you do is come up with stupid excuses.
PUPIL: I know. If I could be 15 minutes late, that would give me enough time to
come up with better excuses.
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One kid in our class is always late for school.
When we studied the Hundred Years War, he only showed up for the last three years.
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TEACHER: Do you have a good excuse for being absent yesterday?
PUPIL: If I had a good excuse for being absent, I'd save it and use it for tomorrow.
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TEACHER: You were absent yesterday and I want a note from your doctor.
PUPIL: All right, I'll take off from school tomorrow and get one for you.
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