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Why did the headmaster move the chickens out of the playground?
So the pupils wouldn't overhear foul language.
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Can you fight?
No.
Put 'em up you coward!
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What's a cheerful flea called?
A hoptimist.
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TEACHER: You've been fighting again, and this time you've lost both your
front teeth.
PUPIL: No, I haven't, miss. They're in my coat pocket.
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I'm a born leader I'm always the first out of school.
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SON: Mum, I've been banned from science lessons.
MOTHER: Why's that?
SON: Because I blew something up.
MOTHER: What?
SON: School!
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Fred stamped in the house, threw his schoolbag on a chair and announced,
`I'm not going there again!'
'Whatever's the matter?'asked his mother.
`I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk, so what's the use?'
demanded Fred.
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My best friend isn't coming back to school, she's gone to the Caribbean.
Jamaica?
No, she went of her own accord.
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What did the teacher say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the
hill wearing sunglasses?
Nothing. He didn't recognise them.
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Why don't you like your new teacher?
Because she told me to come and sit at the front for the present, and she never
gave me a present.
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