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Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the wife of a Sultan is called ?
Pupil: A sultana !

Teacher: Where are elephants found ?
Pupil: I don’t know, they are so big I didn’t think they could get lost !

Teacher: If you add 34,312 + 76,188, divide the answer by 3 and times by 4, what do you get ?
Pupil: The wrong answer !

Teacher: If there are seven flies a desk and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left ?
Pupil: Just the squashed one !

Teacher: I wished you would pay a little attention
Pupil: I’m paying as little as I can !

Teacher: In what part of the world are the people most ignorant ?
Pupil: Hong Kong
Teacher: Why do you say that ?
Pupil: That’s where the atlas says the population is most dense !

Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare ?
Pupil: No
Teacher: What have you read then ?
Pupil: Umm, I’ve got red hair !

Teacher: In music, if “f” means “forte”, what does “ff” mean ?
Pupil: Eighty

Teacher: R-O-X does spell rocks?
Pupil: What does it spell then !

Pupil: Do hams grow on plants ?
Teacher: No, it’s a meat
Pupil: So what’s an ambush then !