Light Sleeper
Someone who goes to bed in a chandelier

Lightning
The difference between lightning and electricity is that we have to pay for electricity.

Liking:
A master fibber. – Joseph Leff

Lily-White:
Snow White’s sister. – Joseph Leff

Limpid:
A weak psyche. – Joseph Leff

Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address
The last one on record is 128 Main Street.

Linesman
Bad tempered teacher

Lion:
To recline upon. – Joseph Leff

Liquor Store:
A stupor market. – Joseph Leff

Liquor:
How a dog expresses love for its mistress. – Joseph Leff

Lisp
When you call a spade a thpade.

Liter:
Metric trash. – Joseph Leff

Literally:
A friend of the metric system. – Joseph Leff

Lithe
Falsehoods told by someone who lisps

Litter
Our grossest national product.

Little Get-Together:
A party for the Seven dwarfs. – Joseph Leff

Little Things
It is the little things in life that annoy us: we can sit on a mountain but not on a tack.

Livelihood:
Robin singing with this Merry Men. – Joseph Leff

Liver:
A person who exists. – Joseph Leff

Liverpool:
A big puddle of pate’. – Joseph Leff

Lo and Behold!:
A hive that fell to the ground. – Joseph Leff

Lobster
A tennis player

Local Bus:
Trasnportation for dieters. – Joseph Leff

Local:
Food eaten by dieters. – Joseph Leff

Located at the Bottom of Trevi:
Fountainpennies. – Joseph Leff

Location of Naval Aviators:
A site for soar ayes. – Joseph Leff

Location of Sweaters:
A sauna. – Joseph Leff

Location of the Queen’s Lingerie:
On Her Majesty’s secret surface. – Joseph Leff

Locksmith:
Legend of smoked salmon. – Joseph Leff

Locomotive
A crazy reason for doing something.